3 funeral etiquette tips

When preparing for the funeral of a loved one and a friend, it is important to keep manners and decorum top of mind. While the occasion is meant to help you process your grief, behaving offensively may interrupt the process for others.  

To avoid stepping on any toes, it may be helpful to adhere to the following guidelines. 

What to wear
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​Although the black is the symbolic color for mourning and the customary color for funerals, times have changed. It has become less taboo to venture into other color schemes. However, it is important to keep your outfit subdued, with minimal patterns and a neutral color palette. 

It's not the appropriate time to make a fashion statement, and it's certainly inappropriate to dress casually (i.e. baseball cap, tennis shoes). Your attire should reflect your feelings of sympathy, dignity and respect for the deceased and the bereaved. 
 
When in doubt? Go the traditional route and wear a simple black dress or suit.

What to say when you're at a loss for words. 

When speaking to close loved ones to the bereaved, you may feel pressure to say the exact right thing. Take this pressure off and focus on being sincere. When you overexert condolences, you may appear ingenuine and more insensitive than if you had not said a word. 
 
Instead, share a fond memory of the deceased and make it short and sweet. The more you say, the more room you make for mistakes, inadverdantly saying something that comes off as insensitive. 

Keep it simple! Stating something like, “My thoughts are with you,” or “I’m sorry for your loss,” shows your support without overdoing it. 

What to do with the children. 

If your child had a relationship with the deceased, and they have an interest in attending the funeral, there is no reason to believe they wouldn’t benefit from the closure that the service may offer. Make sure you prepare them for the experience by telling them what to expect, how to act, etc.

This may be an ideal opportunity to teach your child about the cycle of life. If you're worried about your child's behavior, pick a seat near an exit for a quick escape to the nearest foyer.

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